Eb’s Observations…

In many cultures, it is believed that black butterflies are the symbol of transition, renewal or rebirth. It is also believed that black butterflies could be a symbol of rebirth of something or people. They are also symbolized for longevity and shift in the power. In short, black butterflies are supposed to be the sign of positive change in the present situation.

America, America, America…Mens, womens, and chirrens…gather round gather round…

As of last year, I have taken a step back from the physicalities of the dating world and BOY am I glad that I did! In my sobriety I have had the opportunity to experience and witness some of America’s wackest of inidividuals!

Wack, as defined by the urban dictionary is something (and I’ll say someONE’s) that just plain suck, or isn’t cool at all! Yes! I agree…

The twist in these observations isn’t necessarily about the men I’ve encountered but moreso on the things that I have learned about  myself.  I’m grateful…

I have learned that:

1.) I am an ever-evolving changing human being.

I am just not done in this caterpillar/butterfly process.  I have so much to learn, so much to share, so much to see.  The funny part of it all is that even though these er uh wack individuals linger longer than I anticipate, I think I am testing my own nerves to see just how much BS I can actually handle. Let me tell ya’ll it ain’t much.  Not much at all.  But I will confess the laughter that resounds from my gut helps to cover up the fact that they are indeed a waste of time.

2. Forget women settling…Dudes out here settling EVERYDAY!

*sigh* This is a very REAL issue that happens on a regular.  Apparently crazy is the new normal and normal is the new crazy.  Well, maybe I shouldn’t loosely use the term “crazy” let’s go with “baggage”….yeah baggage.  So, I and my friends would consider ourselves “normal” women with dreams, aspirations, and morals.  Normal right? Well it has been brought to my attention that although I am the beez kneez, I am “work”.  Work as in they’ll know from jump that I aint going for the foolery. Nope I will not deal with your many addictions, your mis-handeling of your countless lady friends, your hate speech towards women. no. sir. ree. bob.  I need more. We need more! But who is getting the action you say? Glad you asked! Welp, I’ll tell ya, the ladies with no jobs, no dreams, 5 kids and 2 baby daddies, laced with DRAMA.  But since she has high aspirations to be the receptionists assistant one day we should all applaud his efforts.  I’m good.  I mean, ya’ll can but I’ll be chilling somewhere round the alter…lol! Or if you want to flip it, the young lady works all day breaking her back to make ends meet and he’s at home playing the PS3, smacking on sammiches, eating Little Debbie‘s latest delectables and jungle juice (remember those?!!) The gender roles are jacked up ya hear me! jacked.up! I ain’t the one though America…moving on…

3. I categorize males.

Nothing more to it than that.  I pay attention to the words spoken, how they’re spoken, and why they’re spoken and govern myself accordingly. Speaking of which…leads me to #4

4. I have to govern myself accordingly

After all the trust I try to place in my brethren, I have realized (even though I knew before, but I REALLY REALLY know now) they will only do what you allow them to.  This is not to be taken lightly AT ALL! I figured hey, he KNOWS he has a significant other so I’ll be straight, right? WRONG OH SO WRONG! Chile, lemme tell ya. Dudes out here could care less if they living with her or came with her. It is my job to respect myself first and then their relationship. Whether I know her or like her or not.  I’m not here to be all “well if he doesn’t why should I?” NAWL America, I ain’t bout that life. Not at all!

5. And after all of that is said and done, the ultimate lesson I have learned through my observations of others and self….*drum roll please* I.AM.NOT. mentally nor emotionally equipped with the energy necessary to participate in a serious relationship at this present time.

And I am ok with this.  Alot of relationships are happening on shifty circumstances and emotions and I’d just rather not be one of those people entering into something because of lonlieness or whatever the excuse may be.  I’m still learning about myself. Loving myself more. Focusing on where I would like to be in this here life of mine.  There’s too much to do WHILE I’m single to be sitting up worried about WHY I’m single.  Don’t get me wrong! It gets rough in the midnight hour, and often times its nice just have the company of a male in the same room.  But I’m ok with waiting for Him and him. ..

On that note:

Thanks America!