I think the time has come for me to finally write about it….

It hurts…

Time is filled with swift transition is probably the realest lyric I’ve ever heard.  How quickly time dictates to us what should and should not have taken place. Who we can and can not be. Who we need to and need not be with. 

Time kept us together.  We kept us apart…

Year 1: Hallway escort. Sung to me the lyrics of “Beauty” daily to remind me of mine.  Held hands, hung out, awkward moments, laughed until we cried.  It was your smile that got me. Your knowledge intrigued me…time went on…you always made me smile…

Year 5: Collegiate years.  HBCU undergrads.  We’re in the big leagues now.  Right? Time wasnt adding up.  When exactly did you have time for others. Text others. Call others. Have the attention of the others.  Couldnt have been true cause you didnt have enough time, or so i thought.  I thought space was healthy, not wanting to invade yours but I guess, silly me, should’ve just been there all the time like you wanted.  But, the timing wasn’t right, its been 5yrs now, its been a long enough time… right?

Year 7: It’s time to just stop. Stop with the I love you’s, stop with the i’ll change’s, just stop…We begin the cycle of yo-yo’ing in and out of each other’s lives.  Time made us comfortable with each other. Complacent with what we already knew.6 months on 6 months off. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. for 3 years.  Time is like that you know.  All of a sudden you figure you dont have the time to get to know anyone else. Time catches you up in a cycle. Love. Hate. Split. Love harder. Hate more. Split frequently. Even when we’re seeing other people we still made time for each other…after. Even while sneaking around we didn’t take the time to get to know the people we’d be come.  Still holding on to our Year one selves. Operating as if no time had passed us by.  Time is a funny little thing isn’t it. 

Love is even funnier…

Year 10: This is do or die…Now or never…It’s Time.  This is it.  Travels were made, the time exactly was 21hrs. 2days almost but we made it. Determined to be something that we’re not. Afraid to make time for others. Afraid to lose the time we had.  Time keeps you on a string, keeps pulling you back even though you dont want to. Thinking on all the good times and never lending an attentive ear to the bad times…It sounds good, but it does so much internal damage. I changed, you changed…what we were in search of were the good ol’ times we had. Before life got stressful, decisions had to be made, before dreams were being chased after.  We lost our individual selves trying to be people we weren’t.  We’d both grown up and neither one of us wanted to admit it. Time wouldn’t let us. Ok, so I’m stubborn, I get it… But even after realizing it we still didn’t work.

Even after all of this time, I still smile at the thought of you, I still get teary at the mention of you, I still want whats best for you… I am just so proud of you. You see this time, I’ve grown all the way up. Not just enough to meet the height requirement at the fair, but so much so to where I no longer consider myself a young anything.  These are times of the Woman.  I embrace them. I love them. I share them.  Im not her anymore…These times won’t allow me to be petty or belittle, become bitter or emotionally spent over what time should’ve done for us. 

Time has helped to make me who I am…No mistakes have been made. 

I thank you for your time…



About RejectedThrifts

REcreating, REstyling, and REpurposing the Average Jane's closet one REJECTED piece at a time! View all posts by RejectedThrifts

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