Are you feeling insecure? Has a recent dramatic change left you wondering whether it was your fault or not? Well my friend continue to read! I dont have any home made remedies or recommended pills you can pop, but I can share my thoughts and feelings on the matter. So, here goes:
What is insecurity?: One of the definitions taken from thefreedictionary I’d like to use says “lacking of self confidence/assurance”.
Why are you insecure?: Never been paid a compliment? Infidelity? Always in competition for attention? Never really saw YOURSELF as “worth it”? Hang around other insecure/depressed individuals?
How did you get here?: Did something change in your life that changed your view of self? Verbal abuse? Physical abuse? Society and its “standards”?
When did you realize it?: Did you look in the mirror and go “whoa! whats happening?” “Where’d these strange feelings come from?
Who triggered these emotions?: a family member? significant other? close friend?
Where do you go from here?: lol….idk, but hopefully after a little venting we can all go on bout our bitness!
Personally speaking, I have gone through every last question and literally place myself there. Forget putting the shoe on the other foot! I suited up in the whole wardrobe with the earrings to match! Now, I won’yty go as far as to say that everyone’s insecure, but I will say confidently that a majority of humanity have had to check those insecure feelings at the door and get a move on. I’ve never “considered” myself insecure to the extremes that I see daily, however comparing myself to the hottest person in America wasnt that uncommon (nor was it often). I’ll admit society sends those little subliminal messages into the thinking space that gets you to well, thinking. But I got my biggest dose not too long ago.
I was an avid weave wearer for some years! When I say loyal I mean loyal! My mood depended on my hair. If it wasnt fried, died, and laid to the side I was bent all outta shape. So as I began to give some serious thought into going natural i figured i’d transition for a few months till i got to a desired length and then give it the ol chopperooski…lol. While doing so I never gave thought to emotions and feelings that were to come surely after. Never knew how “important” permed hair “seemed” to be until I was ready to let it all go. In the shop I was like YYYAAAYYYY but when I made it home I was like GIRL! and kept picking at it like it was going to grow befor emy eyes…lol.
Since I wasnt the “cookie-cutter” prototype for certain people I began to feel like I’d made a horrible mistake. I began to notice my eyes arent level, the pudge in my stomach, i talk one sided at times, etc! But then I realized I never made the decision to be amongst the “liked”, I did it in fact to save some dern money! Weaves can dig deep off in your pocket when you’re getting at the good stuff. I knew I had nothing to fear but it is kinda scary stepping outside the norm. But what fun is being normal and doing mediocre activities. I like to challenge myself and excite others! Im fearless, Im courageous, I AM WOMAN!!!! Im a Leo danggit and thats what we do shooo! It was a love/hate relationship no doubt but now its love/more love.
After I cut my hair off I tried to wear the same amount of make-up as i’d done before with the eskra hair on my head and it just didnt look right. didnt feel right, just wasnt right. I never realized how much I hid behind that weave until it was gone. I was never really outrageous with my make up routine however presently I dont wear any where near as much as I used to. Its like an eye opening experience I suppose. A little foundation, mascara, nude lips, eyeliner and I’m good to go. Im being ME now.
|happy to be nappy…|
My own beauty is enough. No eskras, additives, or substitutes. Im me, no one else can do me better…
(let me stop saying eskra foe ya’ll thank i aint edumucated uh nuffin…lol)
Monique may be loud, but that hug thing she does at the end of her show is important. Love on yourself sometimes.
You wont break your heart, will you?
Besitos y Brazos