Craig’s List Guide for Dummies Who Haphazardly Get Engaged To a Killer…


So if you are one of my followers on twitter @EpitomeOfLeo then I KNOW you got a timeline full of my foolishness and commentary on Lifetime’s Movie entitled: Craigs List Killer.

Now Im probably not the best person to give out such advice but I would be devestated if someone I knew was in a situation like his fee-awn-say (bougie talk).  Now I know why 2520’s dont like for us’s to be in the dern movie theatre cuz I was in my own living room by my lonesome talking to the screen and gettn on my OWN nerves…lol!

*sigh*  Alrighty here we go:

1. In the name of all things sane and edible dont move in with someone after knowing them for 2mo. The representative is still occupying that rental space he calls his body. The lease isnt up until about 6mos after meeting.  IF ya can, hold out chile.

2. MEET HIS FAMILY! If he claims he has none then real sweet like ask to see the grave site. With a smile of course!…lol.  You need proof.  It sounds harsh and all but some pics an old address or something from the past would help. Yoon eem know dude like that for real remember.  6 months!

3. The over-achiever. *sigh* I would add more but I’d only be puttn a size ten en mi boca. NEXT!

4. If 35 times outta 10 you’re in the bed by yourself during the night hours and he’s in the bathroom just-a clicking down with the camera phone…cancel that data plan! Cut him down to incoming and outgoing calls. Shoo…give him a Jitterbug and watch the crazy come oozing out! if so GET OUT!

5. If you meet a cutie wearing a dusty leather jacket, blue button-up, khaki’s and a Boston baseball cap…check the anatomy book in his hand. Trust aint NO cliff’s notes in that bad boy.

6. A mile long scratch on his neck he claims he got from work/pet/flag football/pick-up b-ball game in the hood…o_O like my girl said ya’ll aint got a pet the first and with all this “studying” ur doing you dont have time for spare time sports..sssoooooo???!…lol. Use your common sense here.

7. If you are late on your rent and the landlord lets you stay in good graces for THREE MONFS w/out saying anything hit me up and let me know which apartment complex this is and your account is overdrawn, begin asking where the mail is because obviously you’re not checking and he’s not looking.  NO COMBINED ACCOUNTS!

*sings* He’s loggin in your computer, snatching your profile pics, tryna kill ya so ya need to hide ya ads, hide your solicitations, AND hide ya massage tables ccuuuuuzzzzz he’s killing eerrbody out chea!

 

I know I’m missing some but these stuck out to me. Each one Teach one right? *shrugs*

If you or someone you know is dating a Craigs List Killer or a Facebook Stabber please call your “local authorities”. 

By local I mean some family/friends. By authorities I mean Uncle Raheim, Cousin Pookie and nem.

 

Im all outta breff and starting to bleeve a lul bit….I think I got GOT! Ya’ll pray please!!

IIIIIII luh duh Lawd he hurd my cryyyy……IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LLLUUUUUHHHHHHH DDDEEEEEEE LLLAAAWWWWDDDDD…..

*starts humming* bows head*begins prayer*

Chao Bellas

Besitos y Brazos



 



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About RejectedThrifts

REcreating, REstyling, and REpurposing the Average Jane's closet one REJECTED piece at a time! View all posts by RejectedThrifts

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